on most days i don't want to sleep i want to read richard silken

and suddenly it's two am and ive barely yearned for anything except for the white of the wall to get more interesting

i just feel like im wanting so hard to be myself when there's no self to be

i just feel tired

and only ready to live when it's 4am
and my hands shake too much or too little
and i always just go to sleep
and wake up lonely

or i watch the sunrise.
that, most of all, feels like losing.

-cgi.