Medusa

TW: body shaming, sexual harassment, self harm

I was 5

when i was first told to eat less
for i was too big for a girl my age
But I was already playing chess.

I was 7
when i first felt an unknown boy's hand
where i was too young to understand
But i was still top of my class.

I was 10
when i felt ashamed of myself
for having a little bit of body hair
But i was doing theatre, and choir, and piano and french.

I was 12
when an older guy humped me
he thought i was too young to understand
But i had already learned how to touch myself.

I was 14
when i was shamed for how big I was
my feet, my nose, my head, how tall
so i cut little pieces of myself to try and be small.

I was 16
when that old guy screamed at me
through the window in his car
"Hey hun, how'd you like sum?"

I was 18
when every guy i would look at
sooner or later, asked for nudes
But i was just dreaming of a paper cut.

Now I'm 19
And you've seen this story before
Or maybe you haven't, doesn't matter at all
Of a little girl, happy and free
Who was deprived of her body, her own free will
She felt like an object, she felt violated
She couldn't take it anymore, she rebelled
She hurt her own body, she did what she could
With clothes, and colors, and cuts and holes
With how she behaved and what she said
She made herself undesirable, scary and mean
Looked up to Medusa, looked like she could kill
And so she was happy with herself;
For she was once again

finally free.