euphoria

TW: Depressive and suicidal thoughts

I got lost in my thoughts again today
tried to resist, but it seemed too late
for i was doubting myself already
questioning existence, it could be deadly

Where am I? Where have I gone?
Knock on the door, there seems to be no one
Who am I? Who have I become?
I try to remember, it gets lost in the fog

I miss shaking, and sweating, and touching
the glowing skin of the people around me
closing my eyes, looking for paradise
reaching out to trace, leaning on thin ice

And as the sound became ever so muffled
the lights lowered by the weight of my lids
I'd look around, looking for her
and these colors i knew would lead me to hell

Some white, some yellow, some pale blue
but this is how I make my dreams come true
and if my life no longer feels real
it's because the rainbow no longer has appeal