Forever Yours

“Keep me forever in your arms” she said under the moonlit sky, lying on the banks of Thames. 

He didn’t answer and exhaled deeply, letting the smoke out of his lungs linger in the cold winter breeze. He put his cigarette out, throwing it in the pile of a hundred used cigarette ends. He remained silent. The only thing that could be heard was the howling wind and the wild splashing of the waves on the shore.

She could sense that something was wrong, that something bad was about to happen. She started wondering, asking herself questions and making possible scenarios. She was afraid to ask what was wrong. She was scared that this might be the end, but she didn’t let these thoughts conquer her mind. She said to herself that it is now or never and felt strong enough to let a few words slip her mouth?.

“Is everything okay? Are you okay? Are we okay? Do you want to tell me something?”, she bombarded him with questions. He started getting nervous and he took his pack of cigarettes out his pocket. He lit another cigarette and with trembling hands he started caressing her rosy cheek and giving slight kisses to her freezing cold forehead. After a long pause, he decided to speak.

“Okay so…. You’re amazing, you’re incredible and I love you a lot. I’ve never felt like this and I’ve had a lot of girls before. You’re unique and everything I was looking for. But for your own good, we have to end it. And I repeat, it is for your own good. I love you so much and I want you to always remember it.”

She immediately started crying, her hot tears were pouring like rain on her cold cheeks. She could not believe it. She wished it was a nightmare that was going to end sooner or later. Her crying was getting louder and louder and her sobs could be heard from miles away. She kept asking him why and what she did wrong. He remained silent once again, but hugged her so tight that in another occasion, it would mend her broken heart. She pushed him and ran away. He followed her, reached her, took her in his arms and kissed her passionately. She could not resist his soft, warm lips on hers, so she kissed him back. After a while, she hugged him and took a big breath on his neck, smelling his cologne. She whispered I love you to him one last time and took the long way home.

Days went by, and she was feeling lonely, like a part of her was missing. She called him numerous times but he didn’t answer. She tried everything but there was no sign of him. She even called his friends, only to take the same answer. So she decided to go over his house.

She got out of the taxi and walked towards his apartment. She ringed the bell a few times getting no answer so she decided to use the key he gave her a few months ago. She walked in and an awful smell reeked to the whole apartment. She went into the living room and she could not believe what was happening in front of her eyes.

There he was, sitting on the couch, wearing his favorite items of clothing, holding a gun with his left arm and a bullet was lying between his eyes. She started screaming and crying so loud that the whole building came running to see what was happening. She was staring at him, reminiscing all their moments together, from the silliest to the most intimate, from their best moments together to their fights. Everything seemed precious and important right now.

Days passed and she could feel the gap in her soul getting bigger and bigger. She didn’t want to leave the house. Every night she woke up screaming as the moments she lived in his apartment are being brought to life again and again. One day, as she was returning home from her psychologist, she got a call from the police station. She went over and they gave her a letter that they found at his back pocket with her name on it. She quickly returned home and as soon as she got inside she started reading his letter;

“My precious, if you’re reading this it means I am dead and you are aware of it. I’m pretty sure you feel like you’re the one to blame, so I wrote this letter to reassure you that you were the one to keep me alive a little longer. You brought light to my awful life. You gave me some of the most wonderful and memorable moments of my life and I’m so thankful for this. You’re my forever love. But I want you to understand me. I could not stand it. Every day was a living hell. Everything was against me. Even my own family, my own friends hated me. I didn’t want you to live a miserable life because of me that’s why I did what I did. My situation was incurable. I could not stand being a burden anymore. I am sorry for all the pain I caused but believe me, it is better this way. I will always remember and love you, but please don’t ruin your life for me. There are plenty of things to live, to see, to love. And you deserve all of them. Goodbye my love and I hope I will see you again sometime. I'm always and forever yours”

She could not hold her tears as she was reading the letter over and over again. That night she fell asleep with his letter in her arms and it was the first time after a long time that she slept peacefully.