The Odd Man Out

Everything is hanging by a thread.
You live your life as if everything is a huge misunderstanding.
You were mistakenly placed in this fraught with happy and successful people world.
You're the odd man out, the black sheep of this world, the biggest mistake in the history of mistakes.
You are frowned upon by the ones you value the most.
In their eyes, each decision of yours is worse than the last.
Each success, a disappointment.
Each trial, an error.
Even if you give everything you've got in your desperate for affection soul, it's not enough.
Never enough.
A disappointment. A mistake.

Your agony to keep people in your life pushes them away.
You share with them your thoughts, even the darkest of them, but do they even listen?
Do they even understand how it feels to be broken?
To be so broken for so long that you can't even recall what being whole feels like?
How could they, when their thriving lives are full of beautiful, vibrant colours, yet your blurry vision can only see in black and white?
So you try. You desperately fight to show them your wounds- both visible and invisible.
In hopes that they get a glimpse of what it's like.
In hopes that they understand what you can't explain in words.
Unlikely.


Yet, likely...
When others start taking off their masks, your whole universe collapses.
You realize that your despair has blinded you.
You take off your black-and-white glasses for a minute and realize that the world isn't as colourful as you thought.
This flawless facade is full of flaws.
The word "fake" has lost its meaning because nothing is real anymore.
People are wounded. Each one more broken than the other.
And at that moment you see it clearly.

We're all in the same boat,
sinking to the bottom of this half empty glass.



//optimistic pessimist//